Unforgiveness is poison.

This one is going to feel random to some, but to others I think it will rock you a little.

I want to talk about past hurt that can affect your marriage. And I’m speaking on this from firsthand experience. I want to talk about just how much it negatively impacted my relationship with Nick and how I had to change.

I guess it’s really no secret at this point that I have no relationship with my biological dad. I don’t see a reason to get into the why and “what did he do” because it’s really not the point of this discussion and it is no one’s business.

The things that happened in my childhood because of my situation rocked my world. I was unknowingly depressed and eventually in college su1c1dal. I met Nick during the lowest point of my life and let me tell you, it caused arguments like you couldn’t imagine. And sure, we both had some maturing to do and that didn’t always help resolve conflict. But what was really going on was that I had unresolved bitterness and unforgiveness toward my dad and it was wreaking havoc on my life. I was CHOOSING to harbor the hatred. I felt like it wasn’t fair to forgive.

Nick and I had a rocky dating relationship and fought all of the time. We obviously got past it and got married, but let me tell you what happened to help get to that place:

1. God saved me and rescued me from su1c1de.

2. I forgave my dad.

3. I stopped letting what someone else did to me effect my relationship with Nick.

What does that third point mean? It means I stopped Satan’s lies from rooting into my heart. The lies that Nick would leave me, that I wouldn’t be enough for him, that he would cheat on me...all lies stemming from what I had gone through growing up. Unforgiveness and past hurt CAN and WILL wreck your future relationships if you let them.

This is why forgiveness is scriptural. God knows what anger does to a heart.

This is why God is clear on the importance of a healthy family unit. Parents, how you treat your children will effect them for the rest of their lives. Even after they’ve forgiven. Even after the anger leaves. They will still hurt. And thank you Jesus for giving peace in those moments of hurt.