Marriage Monday: respecting your spouse

*MARRIAGE MONDAYS*

I’m choosing a slightly less controversial topic (HA) but nonetheless an important one!

Let’s chat about respect in a marriage. And I know that initially sounds really vague, but I’m going to get into some nitty gritty stuff that ends up being a big deal over time.

Have you ever been in a group of men or women and the conversation turns to complaining/gossiping about everyone’s spouse? I’ve been there a million times over. It always makes me super uncomfortable because whenever it becomes “my turn” to throw jabs, I really have nothing but good things to say about Nick. And boy is that a damper in these situations 🥴

I just seriously refuse to sit around and crap on my husband. What is the point? Is it helpful or constructive to your marriage? Are you seeking wise counsel and advice if it’s actually something that effects your marriage? I have no desire to be a part of it. And I’m not taking about little moments where you take the opportunity to innocently pick on your spouse (I love dishing out trash talk, especially when Nick and I play games), I’m talking gossip and words that tear down. Or nagging words.

For example, I don’t do little things like complain about something Nick does that may bother me (like saying how he can’t put laundry in the basket and basically call him incompetent), I don’t talk about how he annoys me (which he doesn’t), or anything along those lines. In fact, I usually take the opportunity to BRAG on Nick to really amp up the awkwardness.

Men want your respect. It’s just fact. They want you to look to them as their hero and knight in shining armor and treat them as wise and strong. They don’t want you to treat them like boneheads who can’t do basic things! My husband is very smart and very helpful with the home, our child, etc. He is who I look up to and admire. He is the head of our home for crying out loud!

I’m speaking more to women because I’m a woman, but men, this goes for you, too. Don’t gossip about your wife. Uplift her, tell her she’s smart and beautiful, celebrate her accomplishments and value her opinions. When it goes both ways, marriages end up being really healthy.

A couple other things I DO NOT DO:

1. Openly talk about how “hot” a celebrity is.
2. Look at half-naked photos of other men.
3. Compare my husband to any other man.
4. Tell my husband I wish he was more like so and so...
5. Nag my husband if I don’t think he’s done something in my desired timing (I am working on this one honestly).

Mutual respect in marriage is key. I feel like it is something that has helped us so much in creating a loving and connected relationship. I think Ephesians 4:2-3 sums it up perfectly: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”