When fear consumes your mind about your children...

I just read a post from @itsbrookelynne and WOAH, it felt like she had been living in my brain for the past few weeks.

I have had ALL-consuming thoughts of harm coming to my children. I mean, obsessive, repetitive scenarios running through my head of all the ways I could not be watching for even a moment and something happen, or not doing the right things while I’m pregnant and harming my baby, gosh the list goes on. When I tell you it has kept me up at night, I mean that literally.

I felt this way for about 3 weeks postpartum with Lila. Postpartum was not easy for me. She was colicky, losing weight, couldn’t breastfeed, it was a nightmare. I couldn’t sleep because of scary thoughts of losing her or something happening to her.

And while those fears went away for a while, it’s like they all came crashing back with this new pregnancy, and not just about the baby in my belly, but about my almost 17-month-old, who climbing and exploring and gosh it seems like she is constantly getting hurt.

But I think @itsbrookelynne said it perfectly (I’ll let you go read her latest post for yourself). My children are not the safest in the arms of their mommy- they are the safest in the arms of their Creator, the God of the universe, the loving Father who saved me as a 19-year-old who was contemplating suicide.

And I can rest in that, no matter WHAT happens in the lives of my babies.

Psalm 5:11

“But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.”